


The Dad Jokes

by officaldaelight



Series: It's a Pun-derful Life Shenanigans [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: CLODS, Dad jokes galore, F/M, Fluff, Pregnancy, Reader is pregnant, Sans is an absolute clod, Teasing, clod, implied marriage, petnames, puns, reader may or may not be frisk, so. much. fluff., you and Sans being adorable married dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 13:06:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7758946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/officaldaelight/pseuds/officaldaelight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You had news to tell to your husband. How ironic that he's brandishing up the dad jokes on this particular day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dad Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is connected to my other Sans/Reader one-shot 'cuz married fics RULES!
> 
> ... And I have nothing better to do with my life. (Jk)
> 
> WARNING:  
> The following content contains teasing, petnames and so much of dat sweet fluff that you might throw up daises, dandelions and lollipops. That much sweetness can give you diabetes and kill you. Read responsibly and at your own risk. Reader discretion is advised.

A week after Sans came home from the hospital, you began to feel stange. You felt queasy, your appetite has doubled and you've been vomiting on some occasions. You tried your best to hide it but it never slipped to your husband's attention. As you expected, his protective husband instincts kicked in and he began to worry for you. You tried reassuring him and told him you were just sick. Without your knowledge, he called in to your work and informed your employer you would be gone for a while. While you were enraged, you can't help but feel relieved and flattered at the same time. He was surprised at your sudden outburst of emotion and so where you. No matter how much you apologized, he always consoled you, telling you that it's fine.

It was an odd enigma that went on for weeks and you were determined to get to the bottom of it. It wasn't until you felt magic churn in your lower abdomen that you realized something... different was causing this.

So, one early morning, when the sun wasn't still up, you carefully creeped out of bed, careful not to waking your sleeping husband. It was especially tricky to get out of his grip as both of you always slept facing each other, arms wrapped around the other's body. Once you successfully got out of his reach, you quietly placed a pillow beside him as some sort of ruse that you were still there. Thankfully, he bought it.

You tiptoed to your bathroom, closing the door slowly.

Alright. You were now alone. It was time to test if your intuition is right or not.

A few minutes passed. You were absentmindedly tapping on the bathroom sink, daydreaming who knows what. You thought of the possibilities if your theory was correct. A smile curled up to your lips at the thought and a sigh escaped your mouth at the wonder. Your eyes decided to look down on a certain instrument. You gulped upon seeing it; your hands nervously reaching out and picking it up.

Once you flipped it, you had your answer.

It was very difficult to conceal your smile and hide your laughter. Especially after coming back to your husband and waking him up with your excited movements.

 "Baby? What's up?" he groggily asked.

 "What?! Oh... Nothing, Sans. I'm just... happy," you beamed.

He smiled at your answer, pulling you close to him as he kissed on your forehead. He then pulled you to his embrace, covering you up snugly as he rested his chin on your head.

 "I'm glad you're happy, babe..." Sans sighed.

You realized you just can't afford to suddenly break the news to him. You wanted it to be something unexpected. Something he won't see coming. You wanted to make it special. You tried to come up with an idea the whole day. But to no avail. You can't help but feel disappointed with yourself. And with this hormonal change, it made your disappointmemt feel worse.

You tried your best to hide it from Sans, though. He spent the entire day with you, insisting that you needed to rest and begging you to let him take care of you. You had no choice but to incline to his pleads and to give in to that adorable look.

You haven't realized it was afternoon until Sans turned off the TV and fetched some chocolate chip cookies from the kitchen. Usually, on both your free afternoons, you got off from screens for a few hours to just play board games, solve puzzles or do other activities like go for a walk or go to a coffee shop.

Your husband brought out a notebook and a pencil and that only meant one thing.

 "How about we do Hangman this time? Tic-Tac-Toe got you nuts yesterday," Sans suggested.

 "Sure, whatever. And, in my defense, I actually got better at it," you crossed your arms.

He chuckled, taking the seat right next to you on the couch. "Still not gonna do that today, babe. I just wanna hang around with you,"

 "Wow. Slick move, buster,"

Sans' hearty laughter warmed the room once more before starting the game. So far, your score wasn't as far as Sans' which you prided yourself to. It wasn't that you were stupid, Sans said. It was just that you learned at a different pace (especially since you were battling against a crossword champ) and that he has more experience to these things compared to you. That, you can't deny.

It was your turn to guess and, so far, you only got two letters right. And vowels, no less. You grumbled, glancing at the almost complete stick drawing. Your husband couldn't stop snickering at the knowledge of the answer. You bet he was using this as an oppurtunity to use another lame pun.

 "I'll give you a hint..."

Finally.

 "It's how astronauts organize space parties," he smirked.

You looked at him with utter confusion, then back at the notebook. What on earth was he trying to-

**OH.**

Your hand flew to your face and clawed down, stretching the skin beneath your eyes. Your husband doubled over with laughter at your reaction.

 "Let me guess... They _**PLANET**_ ," you scowled teasingly.

Sans' laugh only got louder. In fact, he started howling at it. Oh, he just loves your reaction whenever you got lost to a pun, doesn't he? Oh, you were SO getting back on this. He's not getting away that easily.

 "Again with the space puns?" you whined.

 "Ha ha! Sorry. Just heard over at the news that they made a restaurant on the moon. I'd want to take you there for a date 'cuz they said the food's great. It's just that there's _no atmosphere_ ," Sans beamed.

Groaning, you buried your face in your hands, making your frustration audible. "Oh. My. Gosh,"

 "They have friendly and punny waiters there, though. They agreed with me that a steak pun is a _rare medium well done_ ,"

 "Sans..."

 "Ho ho ho, man! You should see the look on your face!" he laughed. "Now I know how our wedding cake felt! With that sharp look you're giving me, I'm in _**TIERS**_ ,"

 " **SANS!** "

You were jokingly (and childishly) frowning at him as he wiped out his fake tears, his laugh still not subsiding, until you came up with a brilliant plan. You started to sneer, thinking at how genius it was. It was then when Sans started to calm down and regain his composture, grinning ridiculuously at you. Oh, he'll grin later, alright. And you can wait to see the look on his face when it happens

 "Fine. I have a phrase now," you proudly bragged.

 "A phrase? Whoa... Uppin' the ante, are we, doll?" he smirked.

 "Oh, shush now. Surely a genius like you can figure it out,"

 "Heh. Alright. Lay it on me,"

 "Hang on!" you giggled. "This is a bit long. Why don't you fetch some drinks for us?"

 "A'ight, sweetheart. Wadda ya want?"

 "Um..." you mused. "Tea? You know what I like,"

With that answer, Sans started to head off to the kitchen and you started preparing your puzzle. As he walked, however, a smile curled at the edge of his mouth as he leaned down to your ear.

 "Tea is for mugs,"

You snorted as he drew away. He was really up his pun game, huh? As you wrote, you realized what was happening at the moment. He's making **DAD JOKES**. Oh, great Asgore. That was so ironic. You couldn't help yourself but stiffle your laughter, trying to concentrate on the game. Your husband raised an eyebrow, looking at you half-amused and half-concerned.

 "You holdin' up there, babe?" he called out.

 "Oh, I'm fine. I was just wondering how the sun comes up every morning. Then it _**dawned**_ on me," you winked.

 "Okay, baby. It's cool if I'm making the dad jokes but if you're the one telling it, you have to stop. You're seriously killing me with adorable-ness over here,"

 "Awww... That's not fair!"

He smiled, shrugging as he brought over two cups of tea to the coffee table. "Hey, I'M the one who's supposed to be the dad. I don't mean to be sexist or anything but the cringy dad jokes are on me, sweetheart,"

You simply rolled your eyes at his tease, mumbling how ironic it was for him to say that. He asked you if you said anything and you just replied with the alibi that you were saying how cute he is and that you love him for it. You earned a humble thanks and a blush from him. You can't wait to earn so much more than that in a few moments later.

Your phrase contained two words with the first one having two letters and the second one eight. Five minutes and a hand and two legs lacking into the game, Sans only got three vowels and one constonant in. You couldn't believe that he still didn't fit the pieces together and figure it out. You hoped he wasn't playing dumb. But, by the looks of it, he looked sincerely lost. He was doing his adorable habit of tapping his teeth with his fingers and that usually meant that he was confused. You tried to hide a grin and, eventually failed.

 "What's wrong, honey? I thought you were good at this.." you teased.

 "Hey. This is a phrase we're talking about. It's not as easy as a single word," he retorted.

You spread your arms out and gestured the notebook. "But, c'mon! It's totally obvious!"

 "Really? 'Cause I really can't see it, babe. At least give me a clue..."

 "Nuh-uh. It'll spoil it! Just randomly guess letters!"

He hid his face on his hand, breathing out in frustration and complaining how unfair you were. "I dunno... 'M'? 'C'? 'P'?"

You smiled, adding an arm first, crossing out the "C" and finally adding the two correct letters to the mix. Sans raised an eyebrow, surprised he got two right. It took him a moment before it got into him and sunk in. He stared at the paper for a while, his eyebrows furrowing with suspicion. He looked over at you as you were smiling at him like an idiot. He straightened up, flabbergastingly shifting his gaze at the paper again. Then, at you. Then he blinked back at the paper. You giggled at his reaction, savoring the moment and trying to imprint the memory of his face in your heart. After moments of exchanging glances, his eyes widened and his breath seemingly escaped from him.

 "Y-You're-You're..." he stuttered.

"I told you to go easy on the dad jokes," you snickered.

 "We... We're going to have a baby?"

This time, you were sincere. You nodded enthusiastically at him, happy tears watering your eyes. His smile waned a bit. Then, it grew wider and wider until you thought his face might rip apart from that grin. You picked up the pen and wrote the rest of the puzzle for him.

 " **I'M PREGNANT** "

He rose from his seat, covering his face as if he's trying to trap in his joy. His muffled groan made you laugh. You just knew that his reaction would be funny and that he'd be overjoyed with the news but it felt heartwarming as well, knowing that both of your prayers had been answered. He remembered you and excitedly rushed towards you, picking you up by your waist and spinning you in the air. Though you were surprised at his sudden action, you still held onto him with an embrace, roaring in laughter with him. He finally put you down and proceeded to grab your face with both of his hands and pulling you in for a short, sweet kiss.

 "Are you serious?!" Sans exclaimed after parting from your lips.

 "Hee hee! Yes! I am serious! I am pregnant!"

 "Oh my gosh... Oh MY GOSH. I've waited to so long to say this, babe..."

You flashed him a warm smile, preparing yourself for a little speech like he always does at a big moment. Instead, he gave you a familiar, annoying, infantile (pun intended) grin that screamed trouble at one look. You were about to protest but he already opened his mouth and his voice had spoken up.

 "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Finally Dad!" he beamed.

 "OH. MY. ASGORE. **SERIOUSLY?!** Right now?! I am sooo leaving you," You scowled, huffing as you turned your heel around and headed straight to the door.

Sans snorted at your response, expecting you to stop walking at any second. You weren't stopping. "Aww... Aw, c'mon, babe! It's just a joke! A dad joke..."

 "UGGGHHH... Remind me again why I married you,"

 "'Cause I'm handsome and funny as heck? Wh- Baby, it's just a joke. C'mon... You're not seriously mad at me, are you? (Y/N)... Babe, doll, sweetheart, honey-pie, I'm sorry! C'mon, PLEASE come back!" he whined.

You peeked from the half-closed door, finally giving him a chance. He rushed over to you, pulling the door wide open and sealing your distance with a hug. He combed your hair gently, clearly regretting his previous statement. Despite that, you still felt his stupid grin and annoying chuckle, though.

 "I was just goofin' around, sweetheart. I'm sorry... Remind me not to piss off a pregnant lady,"

 "Mhmm... I was just goofing around, too. You know I'd never leave you... Especially since we finally have a kid. I can't do this without you, you know?" you whispered.

 "I know, sweetheart. I know... I'll be here every step of the way. I won't leave your side, okay?"

You nodded, taking in his promise. He then held your shoulders, looking at you straight in the eye with all the love he can muster. Your eyes sparkled like stars at his gaze and your cheeks were painted a rosy color at his smile. Gosh. You were glowing. Man, how did he get so lucky to land on a beautiful girl like you?

 "Gosh, I love you so much, babe..." he sighed, pulling you closer to him and pressing his lips against yours as lovingly as he can.

 "I love you, too, Sans," you breathed in between kisses.

His hand ran up your waist, pulling you closer to him. You can't help but smile at his need to be this close and intimate to you. You can practically feel the overflowing joy and thrill from his heart. For you and for both of your future child. His gestures and little actions to pull you into him, brushing his hand past your cheek and neck, kneading his knuckles on you back, squeezing your arms gently as he repeatedly and affectionately pecked on your lips all spoke his overwhelming love for both of you. You softly pushed his chest, hinting that you needed to catch your breath. After a few moments, he finally pulled away and hugged you tighter, swaying slightly to emphasize how happy he was. You rested your head on his shoulder. Oh, how you wanted to stay like this forever. You never felt so happy for someone else before. You felt glad yourself but it was nothing compared to the happiness Sans was experiencing. This was what you wanted to witness. This was why you stuck with him. You wanted to be the sole reason why he's this happy. You just felt happy, as well, that you succeeded.

Sighing as he realized how long both of you remained like that, he slightly pulled back to look at you.

 "So... what now?" Sans asked, the joy still sticking in the tone of his voice.

 "I dunno. Maybe we should tell everyone the news? And call Toriel or a baby doctor or something tomorrow, I guess..." you simply replied.

A grin escaped his lips again. "Hmm... Dunno. Maybe it'll be better if we call an _adult doctor_ ,"

 "Holy mother of Flowey, Sans. That was so bad and cringeworthy; I can feel our baby shuddering in disgust right now!"

And, of course, Sans laughed again. You shook your head, lovingly looking at him.

You just wished your kid won't inherit that terrible sense of humor from your dorky husband.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Prolly gonna make most of the one-shots in this series a happy one.
> 
> How the reader became pregnant is open for interpretation =) *wink wonk*
> 
> This one-shot seriously just came from the idea using the "Hi, Hungry. I'm Dad" joke in a slightly different twist. Seriously. This entire thing was built up from this single dad joke XDDDD
> 
> I introduce to you Sans the Clod, btw XDDDD Idk, man. It's just how I'd react if my future husband (or, if he becomes real, Sans) did that to me. Honestly, all my Sans/Reader stuff are based on how I'd react at the situation :P
> 
> That title is a joke, too. Like it emphasizes that there'll be dad jokes but it also means the "dad"(Sans) jokes(as in a verb kinda joke?). HEHEHEHEHEHE...
> 
> ...
> 
> ....
> 
> .......
> 
> I used up my non-existent humor on fitting dem stupid dad jokes in the fic XDDDDD
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
